This is going to be a little blog about me writing a play about not being famous or successful.
Am I writing it, because this is a deep, dark thought hidden within my subconscious? Something that's been eating at my soul since I began this career?
I didn't think so, but when I started brainstorming ideas for the show... they came a bit too easily. I began to think... uh oh... was this a deep, dark inner box shoved in the back of my subconscious that I have found labelled: "Nope, do not open, bad things in here"?
I was like: "Nahhhhh, that's not me. I'm not like that."
Then I remembered: "Wait... wasn't I asked to write this piece?" And that's when I realised: "Yep. Yep, that's definitely me, then."
Okay, I may be over-exaggerating, because I'd like to think I'm not a bitter or envious person (I blame my American positive go-getter attitude) and I'm not panicking because I don't have Jennifer Lawrence's career (yet). I'm 25 and should be proud of everything I have achieved so far and blah blah blah.
I was probably asked to write this play because of my immense charm and talent and because, let's be honest, I'm freakin' hilarious. But it still made me think: "Gosh daring, is that the vibe I give off? Desperate wannabe?"
And yes. Yes it is.*
* I asked a close friend** this. They agreed I do give off this vibe.
** Please note: this person is no longer my friend.
But I don't necessarily think it's me. I think it's all of us.
We are constantly seeing fame: YouTube stars, Vine personalities, Twitter celebrities, Facebook friends who recently got engaged or had a baby. Success is literally right at our fingertips.
I think we are starting to feel like, "Well they have this, I deserve it too." I deserve it. For what though? Did you invent the lightbulb? Did you invent sliced bread. No. You made a few funny videos that your mum laughed at.
We need to be less self-entitled because we are vaguely good at something, or someone told us once: "Wow, you're going to be famous one day, I just know it."
Shouldn't we just do things because we genuinely love doing them and not because we want people to love us doing them?
I'm going to keep trying to remember that, even if I do see Ashleigh Keeton* achieving everything I've ever wanted.
*Ashleigh Keeton was very mean to me in highschool. She told everyone I had a fake eye.
Loren O'Brien, writer of Tomorrow Never Happens