I imagine, predictable cynic stock personality that I am, that it would be no surprise to anyone who has met me or seen my work or just spent their life not being my grandparents, that to suggest myself and The Pub Corner Poets should be working on theatre aimed at kids is a bold statement not at all supported by history. It is no secret that we have spent the last year and a half being as over-the-top vulgar as possible, one only needs to google my name (something I do often partly to sate my disgusting ego and partly just to check I haven't been found dead and have somehow managed to access the internet from Hell) and the word 'angry' to find several articulate reviews moaning about how I'm not as clever as I think I am (untrue Margaret from Stoke, I'm brilliant) and complaints about how the PCP uses bad words that it doesn't understand from people so unplugged from the vernacular of our generation that they think we still use words like 'vernacular'.
Morons all of them. But as awful as these people are and as fun as it is to misrepresent their nuanced opinions and heavily imply that anyone who disagrees with me is a smug, cultureless charlatan, it is a point I'd like to address. We are not family friendly, most of us either don't talk to their family or have one at all and all of our theatrical momentum comes from drinking, swearing and smoking on stages around the country.
So why kids' shows?
I'm not sure.
If I were to hazard a guess I would say the answer is because we relate to kids more than we relate to you. We are all in our early twenties with delusions of grandeur, we live in a world where all our decisions have been made for us, our privileges stripped from us by those who got to grow up with those privileges and obtain positions of power thanks to those privileges, the same people who for some inexplicable reason just seem to want my life to be harder. I don't know why, but the last time I felt this way it was in a school playground where some kid twice my size with his hand in his pants kept shouting at me in an accent that my 12-year-old brain recorded as 'an English version of the deliverance accent'.
What I'm saying is is that no matter how old I or my comrades get we won't grow up until the world agrees to do it with us. We don't like bullies so sometimes we'll throw tantrums. Angry Tantrums that that smug, cultureless charlatan Margaret from Stoke will call ignorant. But when we've calmed down a bit we'll go fingerpaint pictures of better places to be. Pictures like DNGNS 'N' DRGNS: Abridged, because we may be rude violent egomaniacs, but so are kids. We get that the best time you can have as a kid is shooting fire out of your eyes because you're a Specsavers wizard dragon lizard monster man, we want to be a part of that magic for a bit, I do. Just for a bit I want to build something cool and fun and special with a few jokes to keep the parents entertained. You know what? I want to make some god-damn kids laugh.
Because we'll go back to throwing tantrums soon.
I've got a lot of adults I wanna make cry.
Josh Overton is the Resident Writer at The Pub Corner Poets and general clichéd malcontent.